My husband and I met back in 2005 when he was a manager of a rock club and I was a bartender. It was a wonderful way to fall in love. Listening to music every night, drinking cocktails, hanging out with friends after work. We were total socialites. Then as inevitable as nesting is in every relationship, we began to stay home more and more. We found ourselves saying things like "oh we forgot so and so was playing a show last night." Knowing darn well we decided to avoid crowds, and people in general. Remote in one hand, his hand in the other. Those cozy nights turn into spring BBQs for 2. Next thing we know it we haven't been out in almost a year! Other than holiday's and special occations like birthdays.
Even worse, now that we both work day jobs, I go to bed at 12:30. I remember when I would have just gotten out around then a few short years ago. And you know what? I like it..no I love it!! There is nothing better than yoga, a hot bath, HBO, and asleep at a reasonable hour. I wake up feeling like a million bucks! It appears as though I am a reaponsible adult, and I actually like it.
So after several years of nesting and hibernation, we are ready to start getting out again. We go to a local rock club to see a show and I was shocked. First of all there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of people our age. Everyone is either really young, loud, and dumb. Or they are old enough to be considered empty nesters. I can't help but look at the crowd more than the band. We stick out like double headed dragons. We are slightly dressed up, eveyone else looks like they just got off work, or rolled off the futon in their parents basement, smoked a bowl and stole a PBR from grandpa on the way out the door.
I begin to take an assestment of all our friends.."Baby,...Baby...Moved away....Baby" Okay so it seems everyone is having babies and I guess it is the natural order of things to go back into hiberation. I want to go out with friends and have conversations about important things, listen to music, but we have two things working against us. No baby, no money. If we had money we could find all sorts of people to meet out with at supper clubs or the sympohony. Or if we had a baby, we could meet people at whatever place it is that those people go to in the 30 seconds of free time they have.
I'm not opposed to a baby. I don't think it's the right time, but my husband on the other hand sees a plus sign on a urine stick like the end of a barrel on a firing squad. So where does that leave us? Career people with hobbies that like to travel? I am okay with that. Ah but then again we are back to the money issue. I've gone back to working out and painting. My wonderful husband has been spending his free time working on the plethera of guitars in the basement. So if hobbies are the thing that couples arrive at after the honeymoon constant hot sex, and before having a baby, then are we no different than our parents?
The parallels between our marriage and my parents are different enough. They got married very young and had children young. But it was the early 1970's and the economy was in the crapper then too. Gas had doubled, and inflation was out of control. They had to share a car, lived paycheck to paycheck and laughed at the idea of ever owning a house. This sounds oddly familiar.
I find myself calling my mother a lot and asking her. What can I make for dinner out of a can of stewed tomatoes, butter, half an old onion, some cumin, and pickles? Okay, it's not usually that bad, but she has great ideas about dinners on the cheap, and how to clean your bathroom with house hold products.
But here is it. The weirdest era of our relationship. Our parents, are our closest friends. We spend more time talking with them then anyone else. And ya know what? I am really okay with this! There will be plenty of time to catch up with our friends when we join their world of diaper Jeanies and designer vegan strollers.
To our parents! Terri, John, Nancy, Richard, and Lori. You guys are the coolest and best people I know and we are so lucky to have you!
