post wedding pardon depression?

I have been married for almost exactly one month today. The series of events that have followed my wedding were, to say the least a let down.

No one told me that after I got married I would be taunted by the memory of all the times my husband and I uttered the words.."after the wedding". It turns out that after you get married it is almost immediatly followed by a serious depression and no money to do anything you said would come "after the wedding". Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all feeling the depression from the marriage. In fact that is better than ever, but you spend so much time and energy getting everything perfect for this one day. Then the honeymoon, then....apparently several weeks of pajamas, calls from bill collectors, and hibernation.

I struggle trying to remember what life was like before I had to plan this huge event. (And it wasn't even a big wedding!) I am a bartender by night and an artist by day. Although I've only made and sold one piece in the last 2 years. I find myself sleeping 10 to 12 hours a day. I tried to paint today, it seemed for the first time in my life, unfulfilling.

Christmas is only two weeks away, and I and my entire family are broke from my wedding. I realize that Christmas isn't about money and presents, but money is a factor if you want to see your family on Christmas. All of my family lives in Orlando Fl. The vacation capitol of the USA. A round trip flight at Christmas is about $600.00, or in my head, the cost of a string quartet.

My pajamas and unstoppable appetite led my husband to ask me to take a pregnancy test. It didn't occur to him that all the food I'm eating is catching up for the 6 months before the wedding I spent eating salad to fit into my size 4 wedding gown. I started to think how awful it would be to actually be pregnant as my phone rings again from the bank. Then in a strange twist of fate my sister calls to tell me she is. (pregnant) I, thank God, am not.

I decided to start this blog to document our first year of marriage, and to see if anyone else out there can relate to post wedding pardon depression. Hope I find myself again. Here I am only a couple weeks from my 30th birthday, wondering whats next? Comments welcome...please!