When I married my husband I had every intention of taking his name. Now, I will be the first to admit that I played around with the idea of hyphenating my name to his for a couple of reasons. First, I am the last of the girls in my family with this last name. And second, well, my last name rocks!
But after thinking about the idea of marriage really being a union between two people, two into one person, I wanted to acknowledge that. Besides if I was to hyphenate my last name would be seventeen letters, and well that's just stupid.
I'm not a person with whom a name is attached to my career. I'm not a partner at a major law firm, or an award winning actress. There is really no need to keep my name except for the idea that the girl who was on her own all through her twenties is now gone. This is okay. That girl wanted to get married.
So after the honeymoon ended and the holidays were over, I began the process to change my last name. First I was to go to City hall to acquire a "certified" marriage license. Apparently the one the state mailed me from the capitol city wasn't good enough. Or at least not going to help them make any money off me. You will see this trend continue through my story. I wait in line and stand at the counter and the same woman who issued the first license to us a week before is the one helping us. She of course didn't remember and couldn't care less. She did however give me a piece of advise and told me wherever I go to ask for this copy back or I'll have to come and pay another twenty dollars plus parking for each copy. Okay! She points me down the hall to the DMV where I can get my drivers license.
Down the hall I go, I pick another number and sit and wait. They call my number, and I jump up. Eager to get away from whatever that insane smell is coming from the woman in front of me! I go up to the counter and the woman is unpleasant at best. She tells me that all my waiting was for no reason that I could not be issued a drivers license with the new name until I change I name on my social security card. Okay, where the hell do I do that? She tells me of a place across town.
I arrive at the social security office and take another number. My husband and I quietly laugh at a person that we can't decide is a man or a woman, helps themselves to a desk telephone, and calls someone to ask for money for an apartment. This person is on the phone for ten minutes before a security guard catches them, and asks this person to "please not use our phones". The person says to the security guard, "Okay my bad, just a minute." Just a minute what? I was amused!
"99" Ooh goody that's me! I approach the counter and it seems that this woman has some sort of bird flu. She is coughing all over the place and wiping her nose as she takes my documents. I am charged another twenty dollars. Other than that, it is pretty quick and painless. I ask her if i can now go get my drivers license and she says yes.
Back into the car. We drive to the DMV and I pick.... you guessed it! Another number! I sit patiently and watch Judge Joe Brown and wait. Can I just say that everywhere I go the offices seem to have flat screen televisions! Well, I suppose if you charge everyone twenty dollars for every little frickin thing eventually the state has a little cash to throw around! When my number is called the woman at the counter tells me that I have to have a certified copy of my Birth Certificate from the county clerks office, they will not take the hospital copy, which of course is the one I have!
I call my Dad. Ask him if he has a copy of my original birth certificate, he says he does and he'll mail it to me and I should have it in a few days.
Finally I have all the necessary documents and go to change my name! The picture of me is awful. But I suppose everyone's is. Anyhow! Two weeks and $78.00 plus shipping later, I am Mrs. Newlywed! The lesson here is that no matter what anyone tells you, it does feel good to take his name. But it will cost you....at least your time. So make sure you really want it. I now longer judge the women out there that don't take their maiden name back after their marriage falls apart. After all, who has the time or the cash to do this more than once! And I'm sure it will take another series of twenty dollars and a certified copy of your vagina.
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