Top 33 Reasons Your Bartender Hates You

Many of you already know that I make my living as a bartender. I have mentioned it in the blog many times that although it is not my dream situation I have lived many years by the motto that their are better careers than bar-tending, but there are no better jobs. How many jobs can you work part time nights and pull in more than most entry level college grads do. All the while getting to meet tons of interesting people, dressing cute, making friends with co workers who are many times artists and musicians, and every week is a 3 day weekend. That being said, like everyone who works one on one with customers, we all know people are annoying. Here are the top 30 things to avoid ever doing in a night club when its really busy.

1 You hand me your Bobby Brady Allowance money all waded up to pay for your drink
2 You've ever said the words, "Scuse me"
3 Ice water
4 You've shown me your phone linked to the web with a recipe you want me to make you
5 Mojitos
6 You tip on 10 percent of your bill....you don't tip....you think 5 bucks is good for tabs between 20 and 100  bucks
7 Your an "Anna"...(I bring your drink and you keep adding to your order, "anna rum and coke, anna Bud Lite)
8 You stare at my breasts. ( At least try and be discreet)
9 No I don't remember you
10 If you tell me your a good tipper, it's just a tip that your a pain in the ass and probably tip for sh*t.
11You can't be bothered to do a lap and find the bathroom, you must stop me from what I'm doing and ask for directions
12 Waving
13 Please may I, and thank you, have been replaced with "eh ah... let me git a ah.."
14 You get my attention for someone else...bigshot
15 Ice water
16 You accuse me of short pouring you. (And while we're at it, telling me you can't taste the liquor, and your drinking vodka and juice..If you want to taste the liquor, drink something not designed to taste like nothing. See whiskey.)
17 You only drink top shelf vodka cause the rail gives you hangover, but you have no problem drinking red bull
18 You want me to guess what you'll like
19 "Make me anything as long as its not......."
20 Tapping an empty glass
21 Telling me your order even though I'm clearing ignoring you, and with another customer.
22 Drinking anything endorsed by a rapper and calling it "my drink".
23 Ice water
24 Asking for a drink on ice, in a snifter
25 Closing your tab after every drink
26 Eating out of my fruit tray
27 Ripping up coasters, receipts, and or napkins to confetti
28 Tipping in coin form of any kind
29 Asking my name so you can shout at me all night
30 Ordering drinks named after genitalia
31 You waited 10 minutes in line for a drink and don't know what you want.
32 Your wallet is still in your ass when I tell you the total..surprise you have to pay for it
33 Gum...Anywhere but your mouth or a trash can

Happy Holidays everyone! Please drink responsibly.